Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A poem about life...

It's great to see a poem asking questions. I especially like the line "Is it instinct or ignorance?" You have a few punctuation items to clean up. Also, change the line about people like ants to "Crawling and moaning about their lives" instead of "life's." The ending makes me think It sounds like you have another poem coming up about how love has "broken" you. Remember to use specific images. It might be cool to get a little deeper into the ant image and how people are scurrying and hurrying around and always so busy, too busy to look up above the level they are on and see the rest of the world. Would they even pause to contemplate the lushness of a newly-bloomed flower just inches above them? That is just an example. Have a happy day and I send you a virtual gummy bear.

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